29 weeks

It's all happening so slowly and yet so quickly at the same time.  The prep is gradual.  The nursery is painted a shade of gray that I love more and more every time I walk into her room. Carey is going to paint her crib and changing table and I have to get on with the search for a dresser.  I think I've registered for everything but the amount of stuff you need and the choices make it very daunting.

Carey is so laid back, he's ready...guess I should be too.  Everyone is excited to meet her.  No one (aside from Carey) is more ready than I am.  She is a dancing little fool.  I hope she has more success at the dancing than I did.

Hopefully St. Gerard has been listening and the Lord too - I'm still praying for a healthy baby.  Visits are now every two weeks and it'll be 7 weeks before I have another ultrasound.  Hope it goes by quickly.

On a negative note, I go to the bathroom a lot and every time I have a contraction or she decides to move around, I feel like to could "go" on myself. I need to wear diapers.  Pedro is now being kenneled during the day and one would think I'd be ok after a few weeks, but unfortunately I am not.  Today he pooped in his kennel, I think it's just he couldn't hold it.  He was not interested in "going" this morning...my fault b/c I didn't force it.  We'll see how he does tomorrow.

3rd tri-mester...please hurry

This little girl is trying to eat her toes and while she does this is pushing on my bladder, I think I must go to the bathroom 800 times a day.  I'm ready for her to be here already.  It's been a fast 5 months, but we're ready to meet her.  I'm so thankful and honored that God chose Carey and I to be parents to her...I hope she feels lucky to have us, as lucky as I feel to have my mom/dad and Carey's mom.

Nothing exciting going on...get a little gift here and there for her and that is fun.  She got her first swim suit today...can't believe it, it's precious.  She'll be a little DIVA.  The way she moves around and the amount that she moves means two things...she'll be just like her Momma or she moves a lot now like her dad did and she'll be shy and quiet like him.  We shall see.  I hope she has dark hair and blue eyes.  GOSH I can't wait to see her.

T Minus 130 days

This child, we are calling "her" Claire Celine at the moment, is a dancing little fool!  Yes it' a girl. She's moving around a lot now.  It's finally getting real.  That's sad that it took this long, but it's the truth.  I can't believe we're more than half way through.  I have nothing done.  I have a paint color picked out for the nursery but haven't put it on the wall to see if I even like it.  That'll happen soon.  I need to make a registry.  I need to pick up the crib from Jason and Michele and then figure out what other furniture I need.  I need to order the alphabet letters for the wall b/c I think I still want to do that, but then that could change.

Carey says we have plenty of time but suddenly we're in the home stretch, sort of.

Lauren has been gone for 1 week and I miss her at work.  I've started a count down on when she is returning...pretty sad.  Each day gets easier and what will happen is that once I get really good at "being Lauren" and comfortable with decisions, she'll come back and I'll have to adjust to a completely new lifestyle.  We'll work together for 1 1/2 months and then I'll be home.  I'll be a mom.  Me, a Mom.  WOW.  Carey is going to be a Dad.  I can't wait to hear her call him Daddy!

I love this kid already.  Not more than I love Carey just different. He's going to be a great dad.  I see Chad and how much he loves his girls.  I can't wait to see that.

There is a lot to do and I have a lot to pray for.  St. Gerard will be excited to get rid of me, but I've been asking the Lord for a "non-spastic" but healthy baby.  I hope I have 10 fingers and 10 toes and all around healthy!

You know how you sometimes want to make promises to God....this would be one of those times. Hey God, I promise to bla bla bla if you give me a healthy baby. Yeah, you know you'e done it before.

In two hours, it'll be 129 days.  If she doesn't arrive sooner than March 4th.  :)

Boy? Girl? Girl? Boy?

I know.  I know.  It's been over a month.  I'm making it.  Work has been crazy these last few weeks and I've worked more than I want to admit.  My "deadline" is Monday, October 15th, but the BIG day I'm most looking forward to is Tuesday!  Boy or Girl?  I keep changing my mind.  I've been praying very diligently to the Lord and for some extra prayers from St. Gerard the Patron of expectant mothers for a healthy not spastic baby.  Yes I said it.  I pray that may baby is healthy and not spastic....I want my daughter to be a dancer and my son to be a strong man.  Kind of random I know.

Sciatica is painful and kicking my butt.  Literally, I have a pain in my butt and it is not Carey Poche.  HA!  Cheesy, but true.

Bought my first baby item and can't wait to have our bundle of joy sleeping in this "old" not necessarily antique bassinet.  I just love it.  I also went to Vicksburg today to Suz's parental's house and picked up a ton of maternity clothes. I feel like it's Christmas in October.  I've needed some Christmas b/c I have had all the pains, aches and symptoms of pregnancy...it sucks.  I'm slowly getting excited about this baby.  It's a bit overwhelming.  It's a life change.  Name me one person who is super excited to have their life completely change and suddenly become completely responsible for another life?  I know it's my calling and it's what God wanted for me: to be a wife and a mother.  The wife part has been pretty easy thus far, especially with Carey by my side.  The mother part, I'm a little nervous about.

Ok, I lie!  I'm extremely nervous.  Carey, thankfully, isn't in the least.  GO FIGURE!

Avocados

Although I'm not eating nearly as much as I used to I did eat two avocados this week.  Cut them in half, took out the seed, added salt and pepper and grabbed a spoon to finish them off.  No additional additives necessary, they were AMAZING.  Ironically my baby is the size of an avocado now.   I'm sorry "our" baby. I keeping saying mine as if I could have done it on my own.

I'm finally feeling better.  My back did start hurting on Sunday morning and is finally feeling better, what hurts now is the fact that I don't fit in my clothes nor do I fit in the maternity clothes that friends have passed my way.  :(  Just don't know.  Feel fat b/c I'm gaining weight and don't have a real belly yet.  I just look chubby.  NOT cool Lord, not cool.  And how is it that the men get to inseminate and then be a bystander.  NOT fair, just like life.

We are both slowing starting to get excited.  I think I'm more excited about being on Pinterest now and being able to "pin" cool things.  Carey has already commented on the large number of items that I want to put in and make for the nursery.  It's going to be a long 5 months.  Strange thing is that they'll go by fast.  Is that possible? Can they be long and fast at the same time?

I know Mom, Dad and the MIL are so excited at the arrival of a new little one for the family. MIL is simply overjoyed to have one, Mom and Dad are voting for a girl.  Carey and I are still thinking we're having a girl.  So it's probably more likely that Claire Celine Poche will join our clan and if she isn't the one, then Ari Michael Poche will help Carey in the outnumbering of men to women in the house.  I think girl, I am really not sure why.

Next appointment is Tuesday, Sept 18th.  Then in 4 weeks "It's A ______."

Oh the excitement.  I am more excited to see what he or she will look like, act like and talk like.  If Carey has his way: they'll look, act, and be as smart as HIM!

That man, that man.
I'm trying to get him to write his own blog simultaneously "The Daddy Perspective" - he said NO.  my rendition of this entry via Carey is as follow:

- Fantasy Football

'Tis the Season, it's fantasy football and regular football time.  4 days of football.  I watch football, Gwen eats or complains about or compliments herself.  Thank God I don't have to carry this baby. Eat, work, watch TV, scratch her back and boobs, go to sleep.  There is my day.   I think the baby is an Avocado (gross).  I'm sure Gwen has a lot of stuff or me to do before the baby arrives, but I got plenty of time for that.  We find out what it is next month.  That'll be cool, hear the heart beat again.

Back to football.

with a little more humor. I think the Daddy Perspective would be HA-styrical.

A Bun in the Oven

How appropriate because I'm eating as if I'm a starving child.  I eat all day, but typically it's so I'm not nauseated.  I've known since June 24th that Carey and I were expecting our first child.  I apologize that's it's been a long time since I've written here, this is long over due, but here we go.

June 8th was the day the MAGIC happened, too much information perhaps?  Well you can blame that on the TMI I got from the 50 Shades of Grey books.  Yes I admit it.  ...so March 4th is the expected arrival date of Baby Poche!  Right now you are the size of a Peach and growing everyday.  Your heart rate is in the 160s and you're doing well.  We are getting excited very slowly, as you've made Mommy very sick these last several weeks.  Dad and I, along with just about everyone else, think you're a girl.  In two months we'll know for sure.  I can't wait for that day!

More to come.

There are no words...

Well there are words, there are millions.  I've been wanting to write for a while, but life is going on and it's passing by so fast, I just can't find the time.

There is so much to talk about and be thankful for, I just can't find a starting point.  I left work late today and I'm worn out.  It was a fast day, not necessary stressful, but I wanted to get everything done and I just couldn't do it.  It's going to be the same tomorrow.  I love that it's non-stop, but there are days I just want a break.  I guess my dream job would be one where I can start a project and finish it in one day, knowing that tomorrow, I can get to work and start a new one.

I'm very happy right now.  Very thankful.  A lot of random thoughts running through my head.  I know I think a lot of the same things regular people do.  I am now understanding how frustrating and exhausting, "trying" to have a baby can be and Carey and I aren't really "trying" although I guess that depends on what trying actually means.   There have been probably 7 or 8 months, maybe more and some non-consecutive where we have counted the days or realized that "oh, we could be pregnant" and it didn't happen.  It's the longest two weeks of my life.  Then it's the feelings of both relief and disappointment at the same time.   There are days that I'm excited to not have children, like today when I've had no time for any "extra" activities.  In fact I'm one of those people who can think of a million reasons why we shouldn't or don't want children. Then I make myself a bit sad at the thought of growing old with no family of our own, with no one to take care of us when we're older.  I've been praying a lot about it.  Carey and I know that we don't want to do IUI or IVF and all those procedures that cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.  I know that there are and equal number of children out in the world that need good homes.  My mom thinks it's weird that I'm not all about having my own baby.  I do want my own baby, one day, I guess.  I'd like to be pregnant and experience the miracle of birth, but I also know that love is true and real no matter where the baby/child comes from.  Everyone is deserving of a great family life and opportunity of love.

I just have so much love to give.  I also think it may help me "grow up" a bit.  Although I love my attitude and my personality and how I love building relationships with all those I meet.  I want to be remembered for being me.  I know I'm a good person, I know I've made bad decisions, but who hasn't?  It's going back to those throwing of stones again.

When I sit and think about the things I have and want...I realize I only need more time. I need more time to exercise, spend with family/friends, pray, grow and create/dream.   I want to be closer to my Lord, I want to be a better Catholic and Christian.  Does God want me to be a Mom?  That's a question only He can answer.  Do I want to be a Mom...that's just a question that needs to be answered.  Carey and I will have to wait and see if that's in His plan for us.

I can't stop coming back to the idea that I'm lucky to have everything I need.  I'm so unbelievably blessed it's almost sickening.

Words are worth more than gold.

What can I say, one of my "love" languages is words of affirmation.  Maybe it's part of my self esteem issues.  Deep down inside I need to hear the words, doesn't matter what they are really, but I need to hear "You look great, you are so cute, you're funny"....whatever. Whatever it is, I still feel great when I hear it. So yesterday when an old co-worker of mine said "look how skinny  you are, what have you been doing?"  or something like that, I was so excited to hear the compliment that I just didn't hear much after that.  I was also excited to have my first Mr. Pibb extra cherry (ever actually) since Ash Wednesday and it was AMAZING. So the Adult form of A.D.D was totally kicking in.   I am still promising to not drink "sodas" as much as I used to, which wasn't very much, but I really just don't want to waste the calories, although I'll probably substitute that with creme brulee or something.  HA HA.  Overall yesterday was crazy busy at work, but I just had a wonderful day.

I'm excited to see Michelle Sims Kremke and meet her new husband Kevin tonight in NOLA.  I can't even explain how excited I am to hang out with her...I love this girl.

I am resting from a nice 4 mile run....ready to enjoy the rest of the weekend.  My energy is totally still feeding off yesterday's compliment...if only I could remind my husband how to do that...the complimenting thing.

I have to say be specific when you pray for things...I should have been specific about that.  

Washing your Mouth out with Soap

I don't know if she did or at least I can't recall, my mom ever saying that she would wash out my mouth with soap.  I grew up in a house hold where we didn't say things like "shut up" much less have any other now super common four letter expletives come out of our mouths.  I honestly can't remember when I said my first curse word (probably from hanging out with Ashley, Danielle, Michelle Q and Corie).  Just picking on you ladies.  I do remember the first time my mom used the B word in front of me, it was over a parking space mind you.  I hate that I will actually say them (sometimes) in front on my mother, because the Lord knows I would have never said it in front of my Grandmother.  So what makes it so easy these days?  They are used on the radio and TV a thousand times more than they were when I was growing up.  The f word more than any other bothers me and it seems when I need emphasis, I use it.  I am a sinner, yes I am.  I curse, and more often when behind the wheel of a car, but I am doing my very best at trying to go back to the way things were.  The words, the four letter ones, are so UGLY (ha, four letter word).  I bring this up because at my volleyball game tonight I made a really terrible attempt to set the ball and subsequent movements left me on my rear end, in the sand.  The referee, who knows me well after 3 or 4 years of playing volleyball says "Gwen, language please" or something of that nature and I said was "WOW, now I can't say butt?"   Clearly that was not the word she was referring too, however I have become so at ease with saying the S-word I had not even realized I had said it.  And said it loudly, no doubt.

The more I got to thinking about it, the more I'm ok with myself being the loud, smack talker that I am when I play volleyball (because I'm that good) but I am not ok with how much I curse.  So I make a vow today, to speak words that are pleasing to the Lord and well pleasing to the other people who have to (and some don't) listen to me.

I guess I need to pretend that Grandmother Vivian is still around and with me, listening to every word.  So thanks to Kristin Braun for helping keep me in line...at least on the volleyball court.  Now if I can just get her to ride around town with me, I'd be well on my way to a cleaner mouth.

I'm ashamed.  I really am.

No coke...day 48

I've made it my mission to continue with the not drinking of the coke/dr pepper. at least through the Easter season which is 50 days, although I though it was 70.  I must say that I'm not nearly as grouchy as I thought I would be without all the caffeine.  I sort of have the urge for a coke, but I didn't have one.  I didn't have one b/c I really didn't have the time to get one.  I was swamped at work.  It's already 9:14 and I'm pooped.  I need to get on the treadmill.  I also wanted to start that book I was reading - again.   I dabbled a little with Facebook today and I am certain that my life is better without it.  It's like a disease that sort of consumes me...I wish it didn't.  Guess it doesn't matter b/c Carey's watching House and I don't really watch that show.  At least we're in the same room together right?

Gonna log in my coke rewards points (Mom saves them for me) and then to bed...early and very busy day ahead of me.  I'm ready for the weekend is that bad?

Jesus Christ is Risen today.

It may sound strange to some, or even a bit hypocritical to say this (I mean I am a sinner) but today is and always has been the most exciting day of the year for me.  I am just excited.  It as if I get to see a celebrity today.  When I rise on Easter Sunday morning I am overjoyed and excited, unlike I feel on any other morning.  Jesus is risen today, Hallelujah!  I am just so excited on the inside at the most powerful day of the year.  I can rise today because the Lord fulfilled what God had planned for Him and saved us all from sin.  What a sacrifice God made for little old me.  That kind of love is unimaginable. I hit the good life lottery...today we all WIN!
          My Easter rap:  All I do is WIN, WIN, WIN, no matter what, I got heaven on my mind I can never give it up, and everytime I wake up Easter Morning, everybody's prayers go UP- and they stay there!   HA HA!


The devotion today has the verse Colossians 3:2  written at the top.  "Think of what is above, not of what is on the earth."  We have to listen to the words of St. Paul here.  The important part of our lives this moment forward is what we are to strive for.  It is for what we have been using the last 40 days (47 if you get technical), to build on our (I hope) already strong relationship with our Lord Jesus.   If we could walk the earth each day keeping this in mind, life would be a lot simpler.  I think the Amish may have the right idea.  I can only a dream of a life with what I believe to be little stress.  I can honestly say that I'm a generally happy person, but things could always be a bit easier.  


I know it is said that I "can" have a coke today, I "can" get on facebook, however I'm excited about the possibility of keeping up the habits I've started over this Lenten season.  I hope to be running/jogging more, drinking a lot less coke (although I have many times wanted a coke over the last 47 days), blogging a lot more, reading the scriptures more, learning God's word and spending more time with my husband, not lost for hours on facebook.  I know it may take some discipline and well that's my new goal for the year.  I don't want to stop working on that relationship I have with the Lord, because I know I'm going to need him daily, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to only do the fasting, alms giving and prayer as we prep for Easter.  The Easter Season last for 70 days...lets see if we can keep going.

I know I can do it.  Because "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13.  That Saint Paul had some good stuff to write I tell ya.

Phil 4:4-9  "Rejoice in the Lord always.  I shall say it again; rejoice! Your kindness should be know to all.  The Lord is near.  (actually he's here now...whoo hoo) Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.  Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds to Christ Jesus.
        Finally , brothers, whatever is true , whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.  Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me.  Then the God of peace will be with you."  


If only I could be more like St. Paul.  But again, I'm small and weak, but He is big and strong enough. With Him in my life and with me every step of the way, I can't go wrong.  It may take me longer to get there, but I'll get there.  True happiness, complete and joyfully fulfilling love and happiness is the light at the end of the tunnel, the pure radiant light of Christ!

Better is just that...better!

I'm definitely feeling better than I was when I wrote that first blog today.  I was just in a bad, bad mood.

Just got off the treadmill and phone at the same time.  One hour later, I feel good.  Glad I talked my lazy butt into walking/running a bit tonight.   I skipped running the Betsy to spend QT with Carey.  I can never be mad at him for very long...he's too cute.  I hate that about him. HA.

I got to talking with Nicole about this week, it's Holy Week and it's truly the most import and exciting week of the year for Christians everywhere.  We prepare for the Risen Lord.  We get excited about "tasting" all of those things we've fasted from for the last 47 days.  Although I'm trying to talk myself into not "giving in" to those things again.  I know I'll have a soft drink on Sunday, I just know I will.

It's just so exciting...what is in store this week.  I'm ready to get it started.  I hope that I'm able to make some of the services this week.  I'm looking forward to spending time with the Landry family on Good Friday and what a GOOD Friday it will be.  Oh how the Lord has truly blessed me with a wonderfully large family. I think this week will be wonderful.  Hopefully it'll go by fast.

Isaiah 50:10 For now, walk "in darkness without any light, trusting in the name of the Lord"


I have to be honest.  I'm still working on the trust thing.  But if I grow a little closer everyday, the good thing is that I've grown.

Oh and I met someone who is an atheist.  I felt sorry for him.  I really did.  All I could say was Good for you b/c I believe in God and I'm a happy person.  So thank "GOD" for that.  Jesus is the reason for the, well for EVERYTHING.

Baby killers

Perhaps too strong of a title for today.  I know I've been away for the last few days, I couldn't find my devotional for a few and things got busy.  I did read the book of Ruth while I was away, so it's not as if I was not doing any devotion with the Lord's word.

I need it right now, Carey just removed a bird nest from our patio fan/light.  I've been watching these birds for weeks build this nest and he just threw it in the garbage, eggs and all.  I'm in tears, perhaps it's a little too pro-animal life, but I'm still upset that he killed these babies.  Now I have to watch as the parent birds come to "check" their babies and see how they are doing, only to find them not there.  I know hate is a strong word but I hate my husband right now.  I asked him not to move the nest, it wasn't hurting us.  I even asked that if he was going to take it out to move it to the roof.  He knew and knows how much I love animals and he still threw it away.

I also made an angel food cake today and he was in my way and it's practically ruined now.  Mainly b/c I didn't have the right things to use to make the cake but still, it didn't fall out of the pan like it's supposed to and that just makes me more aggravated and upset.  Ughggh I'm just pissy right now that is all I can say. Now how am I supposed to rest in the Lord right now...I guess now I need Him more than I usually do when I'm blogging.  I have to ask Him to come to me now and calm me down.

I went to Wal-mart to get a glass bottle and ANOTHER angel food cake and the bottles (6) that I bought still don't fit.  I'm just aggravated.  I'll have to finish this later.

Seek and you Shall find

'Seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened to you." Matthew 7:7 or Luke 11:9 I believe.  I use that today b/c I can't find my devotional.  I read the readings and the paragraph last night, but I have no idea where I put it.

Carey and I had one of very few big fights last night and although I am over it and I think we've moved on, I feel like he's distancing himself from me.  It's unlike him, however I don't want to ask about it just yet, as that will only make it worse, if I'm over reacting.  I'll give it a few day, I'm sure I'm reading into nothing.

He's such a wonderful person, I don't want to be upset or mad at him, I don't want to fight with him. We work so well together.  I know God will release the tension, if there even is any.  I just want to be a good wife.  I don't want to be bossy, or nagging, I just want to make him happy and love him like he's never been loved.  I know I love him like I've never loved anyone before.   I think that he loves me that much as well.

We're a good team.  I know that for sure.

On another note: Jeremiah 29:11 came up again today.
But again, I have to remind you of that verse 12 "when you call me, when you come and pray to me, I will listen."


Guess I need to have another conversation with my Lord on this one.

Set it on Fire

As we move forward in the Lenten season, the things that we are doing or giving up should come easier.  I am finally starting to lose the urge to drink a coke/dr. pepper, but the finding the time to sit and read scripture and reflect on it is tough.  I'm about to go for a 6 mile run with Betsy LeBlanc Holtzclaw, but I thought I'd spend a little time here first.

Today we're talking about the Lord not trying to impart facts or knowledge on us, but calling us to change.  That's what Lent is about.

Needless to say I never got back to this yesterday, but did have few faith based conversations yesterday, and I think that is what our life is about.  Communicating about and with the Lord.  I know I probably cursed a little more than normal about some $ issues, but that always gets me stressed.  Overall I can't really complain, yesterday was a wonderful day.  I ran only 5.03 miles, but had a wonderful meeting with Ed Chaffin of the Human Capital Initiative.  I had the Birkman Assessment meeting and just let me tell you that that meeting was meant to happen, just like everything is.

I got to see Danielle, Doni and Davis and my Ashley came stay the night and brought me dinner.  I am so blessed with a great group of friends.  I skyped with Nicole for an hour probably, it was just a nice weekend.  Maybe Carey should be away more often.  HA.

Going back to the Lord's call for us to change, I need to adjust my focus and make the things in my life, the work that I do, more directed towards what He wants from me.  How can I take the tasks that I do daily and move them in the direction of being faith based, faith centered or God centered.  Today God reminds us that with the new covenant He has written on our hearts Jeremiah 31:31-34 (something that cannot be erased I promise you) ... I will be thier God and they will be my people. No longer will they have need to teach their friends and kinsmen how to know the Lord.  All, from least to greatest, shall know me, says the Lord, for I will forgive their evildoing and remember their sin no more."    Again his promises to make our lives fulfilled,  we just have to KNOW Him and communicate with Him.  We have to take responsibility for our actions, all of them.  We have to try to be better at life in general.  Every moment is God given and should be God centered.  God is soooo grand that nothing is too small or insignificant for Him, some times I find that people don't get that.  They don't understand how amazing He is.  He's "strong enough to take my dreams, come and give them wings,"  b/c without Him, "there's nothing I cannot do."  Britt Nicole says it is so brilliantly in her song "Set the World on Fire"  here it is again if you forgot what it sounds like.

Hebrews 5:9 Reminds us that "when He was made perfect, he became the source of salvation for all who obey Him."  Why is that so difficult for us?  That's proof at how powerful temptation and sin actually is.  Not only has the obedience to our Lord been taught to us to as a way to salvation but the law has been written on our hearts.  It's inside of us to be His children...all we have to do is listen.  He died for us...to live.  That's a fire that can't be put out.

Off to celebrate mass, receive Jesus' body and blood into my body so I can do His work this week.
Lord teach me your paths and guide me in the way of your truths, for you are God, my Savior.

A Personal Relationship

Carey is off on a bachelor party weekend w/ friends and Reagan is spending the night with me, as I don't want to sleep alone.  HA...i know I'm a sissy.  We've been having general "religious" conversation and I think it's been good for both of us and put a couple of things into perspective about what we believe as Catholics and what we believe as Christians, yes two different things.  Sometimes, heck most times, it can be overwhelming, faith that is.  Do we really have it?  Do we have enough?  How do we get more?  What do we believe and what do we not believe?  How do we know we're doing the right things?  That is what Faith is isn't it?

Hebrews 11:1 Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen.  We just have to have it.  6: But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for any who approaches God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him.  I'm a firm believer that He/Him when referencing God should be capitalized...DUH.

The devotion today touched on having that personal relationship with God, just being able to talk to Him like a friend.  The coincidence or "Godwink" was that Reagan and I were talking about how important that truly is in life.  We have to have a friend in Jesus Christ, He is a Savior.  Our sins are forgiven, but we still have to admit to our friend that we did Him wrong.  It really makes the relationship stronger.

We have to ask God for help in finding the words because He already knows what is in our heart.

Jeremiah 29:11

I worked late today, had our first volleyball game of the season (Desi, Marie, Amber, Max and Kevin), which we won and then I did a bit of work from home.  So it's 10:28 and I haven't devoted any of my time to scripture.

A few weeks ago I called into The Catholic Guy  on Satellite radio channel 129.  It was a Lenten game and my question was "what are the three pillars of lent?"  Boo yow, I know this...I knew it and I won a book.  Today it came in the mail - I was excited to finally get it, but was more excited to see that Mark Hart had autographed it and beneath his signature was  Jeremiah 29:11-12.  Funny b/c I need to go look up the 12 part. This is my favorite verse...found it a few years ago and it has been my go to verse ever sense.   Now I may have to add 12 to that, b/c I am in love with it as well.   "When you call me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you."   It's everything we need to know in one verse.

I know my plans for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe, plans to give you a future full of hope.  And then he says, when you call to me, I will listen.  What a great way to begin this book "Holier than Thou."  I believe it to me more than coincidence.  I believe God has given me an extra jolt today...a simple reminder.  The introduction noted that we shouldn't forget the words of the prophet Isaiah:  For my thoughts are not our thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your way and my thoughts than your thoughts.  


I need to leave it up to God.  Today I prayed for a better day than yesterday and although I was busy and ate lunch in record time, it was indeed better.  I'll pray for the same for tomorrow.  Lots to do, lots going on.

God be with me.

"Put 'em up, put 'em up!"

Courage, that's the word today.  Literally.


Behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, son of David do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home.  For it is through the holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her."  Matthew 1:20  


Joseph and Mary both showed great courage.  Similar amounts would be needed even now.  Probably more than then.  I don't know and I assume that with God's grace I would have been able, but I don't know that I could have so freely excepted what was happening.  It gets me to thinking, am I the sort of person that God would choose to do "anything" He asks?  What do I need to do differently?  A lot that's for sure, but where do I even begin.  I am sort of scaring myself here.  But as a christian and a child of Christ we aren't meant to understand everything nor are we meant to try to be perfect.  We just have to keep trying to be better, we have to talk to Him, admit our faults and ask for help.  We have to ask for forgiveness and grace, but we need to try to be the best we can.  If at first we don't succeed, try, try again.

The important thing I read today was in Matthew's gospel- "Jesus came and saved us from our sins."

Halleluyer...

John 3:17

This sort of makes me laugh.  Not because it's funny, but b/c so often we hear John 3:16 we forget what comes next.   I bet few people can keep going.

John 3:17 "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him."  


God has already saved us. I think I'll just leave it at that today.  I need to enjoy a little time with my husband.  I love my God...love my husband too.

Oh that today you hear His Voice

Psalm 95:7 "Oh that today you would hear his voice."   


 I like that.  Not if.  Today.  I'm sure we heard His voice more than once.  But did we listen to what He was saying to us?  In Luke's Gospel is tells us (vs 23) "whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters." It is amazing how some things are so clear and then others are very hard to understand.  I think we have to make an effort to understand, but again it is not our purpose to know all.  God knows all.  We just have to trust Him. I know how hard it is to trust those we know and love.  I thought for a moment that it was harder to trust God, but if I look at my life and all the good things that have happened, I'm reassured that He is our Savior because I'm reminded daily by good things people do.

That leads me into today's scripture:

Mark 12:30  I asked Aidan if he recognized this verse.  I believe most if not all Christians know this one by heart, but to say that I knew it was Mark 12:30, would be a lie.  "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul with all your mind and with all your strength."    I know how much I love my family and my nephews/godchildren...it's a lot.  So loving the Lord with ALL of our heart, soul, mind and strength is beyond comprehension.  So then to take that and think that God's love for us in return is far grander, well I'm just can't even fathom how much that is.  WOW!  I mean seriously....WOW.  The devotion today asks to you consider something similar to what I just mentioned.  I know that when Carey is upset with me, which thankfully is a rare thing, it it painful.  I miss him when he's away and I truly long to be with him as often as I can.  I love him that much.  Shame to say, but I'm complete with him in my life.  Same goes for the relationship God calls us to have with Him.  We should hurt when we're in sin and separated from Him, but feel whole and complete and in true graceful happiness.  Life is bliss when God is present, it really is and those time when we experience Him as completely as humanly possible, well anything and everything is possible.  The sky is truly the limit.

We just need to spend time silently listening for Him, so we can hear his voice.

What is really important in life?

I just finished looking at pictures from someones "pre-wedding" times and a few from the big day.  Only for this young lady, she's suffering from a rare cancer and had to shave her head 3 weeks before her big day.  Her "honeymoon" the monday after her wedding began with a round of chemo therapy. Every picture brought more tears to my eyes.  I don't even know this young lady, probably will never meet her. It just put my life, my purpose and the time that I spend with my husband into perspective.  I know it's relatively cliche and I say it all the time, but it's true.  I'm lucky to be healthy...why do I waste so much time worrying about the unnecessary and doing things, that aren't "paid forward."  When will I truly realize what is important in my life...my only "need" right now is a pair of blue jeans that make me feel great...and then I don't really "need" that either.  Guess I'm doing pretty well aren't I?

The days are slipping away

As I finally decided to take a moment for the devotion tonight, I realized that yesterday was Tuesday and I was further behind that I thought.  I didn't even finish the thought at the end of yesterdays post.  Nor did I realize that I didn't even write on yesterday's readings and gospel.  If I don't sit down right when I get home I won't be fully devoted to what I'm doing.  It's late now and I'm tired and I have 6 readings instead of three.

Something just struck me with one of them...it involved studying the scripture and really getting to know our Catholic faith, something I think most Catholic needs to do, me included.  One thing that is always said about Catholics is that they don't know the scriptures, and they don't know enough of the Catholic faith to "defend" it, the sad part is that a defence is even necessary.  The common theme is that we believe in one God, the Father the Almighty creator of heaven and Earth of all things visible and invisible...need I go on?  So the devotional piece for yesterday says "you can't love what you don't know,"  If you want to fall in love with Christ, seek to find Him in the scripture.  And if you want to fall in love with the Church, her wisdom awaits you in many writings and goes on to talk about the Catechism of the Catholic Church.  Although all of it is backed by scripture, I think it's most important to study the actual word of God than the Catechism, although like few Catholics, I actually own a copy.

The other big theme, from yesterday actually, I think I got them mixed up, was taken from Daniel 3:37 "For we are reduced, O Lord, beyond any other nation, brought low everywhere in the world this day because of our sins."  It's just a reminder that our sin doesn't just affect us as individuals but it in deed affects the entire body of Christ.  We are one.  If we as Christians don't stand up for those things that are morally right and faithful, we'll be all alone end the end and Christ will say, I gave you more than one opportunity, but did you take it?  Brings me back to the little things that are so important to moving us closer and into a stronger relationship with Christ each day.

My good Christian friend Katie Pritchett Crawford and I had a conversation yesterday evening about a bunch of different things, but one thing she reminded me of what that when we read and study scripture it is not possible to understand everything.  It is not our job to think we do or can know and understand everything  Heck if that was the case would we need a God?  She's one of my go to Christians.  She is one of the many blessings I thank God for giving me.  I don't know where I'd be without her.  I know when I'm struggling with a belief she can give me guidance, when I just need prayer, she is one of my warriors.  Sometimes I just need to hear her say "Hey bats"  and that makes everything ok.   Looking back, I think we were meant to "grow" together.  Of course God knew what he was doing, but having her in my life now just means more to me that I could have imagined.

So I'm going on to read the scriptures for today...I love the Psalms, mainly (and I hate to admit it) because they remind of all the songs and responsorials (Psalms) we'd sing in church when we were kids.  Lord make me know your ways.  Teach me your paths and guide me in the way of your truth, for you are God my Savior."    Psalm 25:4-5


The gospel of Matthew today is the story about forgiving not just 7 times, but 7 x 7 times.  Matthew 18:35 says "So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from the heart."   Forgiveness is not something that is done easily, in fact I think it may the hardest thing to do,  it takes time and strength.  I believe very few people are able to truly forgive someone who has trespassed against them.

I finish off with more words from Matthew's gospel - yet another reminder of what we are on this earth to do.  Chapter 5:19  "Therefore, whoever breaks on of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do so will be called least in the kingdom of heaven.  But whoever obeys and teaches these commandments will be called greatest in the kingdom of heaven."  


Well duh...really now?  Why can't we just trust Him will all that we have?  I guess it's just as easy to forgive our enemies isn't it?

3 for 1 sale...

I hope that got your attention.  I know for me it would, but I just mean that you're getting three devotions for 1 today, as I'm a bit behind.  I had a really rough and exhausting two days at work (worked late each day) and all I really want to do right now is rest/relax.  But I'll spend some time with the Lord and his word and then I'll go for a run to relieve the stress.

First devotion talks about the prodigal son and that terrible sin of envy...which I think for a few moments I may have felt briefly but was reminded that the difference between envy and jelousy is the fact that with envy, you wish that someone be without that thing that you wish to have, not just the wishing you had it as well.  So for Saturday we just ask Lord, root out all traces of envy in my heart. I need to say this over and over today.

Yesterday's devotion talks about habits and how it takes about three weeks to break a habit and Wednesday will mark three weeks of Lent already.  I only wish this habit of reading the scripture and dwelling on the words got easier.  It's not so much the actual devotion that is difficult more so finding the time to sit quietly with the scriptures and write about how I feel about them or what they mean to me.

"Lord you have the words of everlasting life."  Remember that response?  That's from Psalm 19:8-10 it's part of the readings for Sunday.    I remember this from Sunday also 1 Corinthians 1:25 - For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength."  If we applied that thought to all of our feelings, talents or emotions, imagine the possibilities that exist if we place our trust in the Lord.  What a brilliant being He is for and what truth He will bring to His plan for our lives.

Lord in my spirit give me a glimpse of heaven.  Today's devotion was short.  We're almost to the half way point in lent.  it's funny sort of because I had a strong urge to have a soft drink on Sunday (which isn't counted in the 40 days of Lent, but I've never really been one to "cheat" on those days.  So I just smelled Carey's Dr. Pepper and had a glass of wine instead.  Today was a rough day at work and when I finally was able to go to lunch around 1:30 i very much wanted to get a fountain drink from chic-fil-a...i could just taste it as I asked for lemonade but that didn't hit the spot like a Coke I know would have.  I offered up this small sacrifice.  I wanted to show my commitment to this journey I've decided to take.

I hope it helps me to be stronger in my faith and relationship, as it helps me grown stronger in breaking this habit of drinking empty sugar filled calories everyday.  It will lead me to a healthier me.  A stronger me and so when and if I do have a soft drink it will be a definite treat, much like a good glass of wine is.  So today we are to dwell on thoughts of heaven and living eternity in heaven where there is no worry, no fights, no stress, only peace and happiness and God's abundant love forever and ever.   AMEN.

Rest in Peace Brandi

Brandi Chaney was the bar tender at Bink's, when Carey and I first started dating.  She was a doll, I liked her.  I wouldn't say I got to know her well, but I knew her.  She friend requested me on facebook, we chatted occasionally when she was in town (after she moved to Tennessee with her boyfriend Rhett). Regardless of the details her life ended too soon.  Started with what they thought, I believe, was ovarian cancer, then a brain tumor and down hill after that.   I'm so sad for her family, but she was suffering and hurting here on earth and now, well  there is no more suffering! AMEN.

Yesterday went downhill after I wrote that.  We went to Chad's for dinner, I rested on the couch...just as the Lord said - on the Sabbath we shall rest. We rested...so much so that the storm kept Pedro up all night and I didn't sleep.  It was like I was up all night with a cranky baby.  I felt like poop today.

Finally got a chance to read Brandi's Caring Bridge site.  Makes me sad, makes me cry, makes me feel selfish.  Gives the title of this blog an entirely different meaning.  Did I spend this one day doing the things that are important?  Granted I have done the "required" daily devotion in a few days, but today I'm re-thinking my "life" aka the day.  I worked late today and ate at work, so when I got home I was already an hour behind schedule...if there was one.  It's 9:49 and I've spent only a few minutes with Carey who is already in bed.  I did get on the treadmill while I caught up on some DVRd TV shows, to save spending even more time away from Carey.  I truly cherish every minute I get to be with him even if we sit silently doing our own things in the same room.

It's the season finale of the stupid Bachelor...which for whatever reason I cannot get enough of.  I don't think I ever will.  I wish I could...I'm sure there are more important things to do with my time.  I need to see my nephews...I miss them.  There isn't enough time in the day to do everything I want to.  Just another day of rambling on...I love Carey.  I think I'll go just be with him.  :)  I'll say some extra prayers for Brandi's family but I know they will be comforted.  God has called one of His children home, He will be there for Brandi's family, I know that.  I hope they do too, I can't imagine what they are going through.  I can't even begin to imagine, as I'm not a mother.  I can't imagine losing my brother or my father or anything.  I also pray for Shawn and Sherri Campanile.  I can't imagine losing my dad suddenly either.  I am glad I got to spend some time with Dad, Maw Maw and Mom.  I don't want to even think about what I'll do when they are gone.

It really is the little things

I know my entries can sometimes be a bit scattered and random, but hey, it gives you a bit of insight into this crazy mind of mine.  I read the readings and gospel for today and nothing really stood out in my mind.  What did hit me was the reflection.  The verse at the top says:


Matthew 21:43  "Therefore, I say to you, the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people that will produce its fruit."  


Matthew was talking to some directly.  If it it's me, I'm not sure how to take this.  It's a warning, I know that much.  The reflection reminds us to remember the things "we've failed to do" (from the penitential rite).  And although we all know that the list of those things can be quite long, God's list of the ways He loves us is longer.  His love, it says, is a whisper.  So our good deeds don't have to be SUPER grand or extravagant, but we have to remember to do the little things with quiet love: check on our elderly (and no Mom and Dad, I don't mean that you are elderly) parents, be patient with our spouse, or think before we speak.  I'm the first person to admit that when Carey is joking with me I can take him seriously and get upset and even angry...which turns me into this hateful, evil woman or if I'm in a hurry to get somewhere, I can be just the ugliest most defensive driver you've ever seen.  Why is that?  Why do we let those little things get to us?  Why do we let the devil have the pleasure of seeing us that way.  It's in those moments that we must immediately say - Jesus is Lord and apologize, ask for grace and do our best to not do that again.

The countless little acts of love we do each day, keep the devil away.  - yeah...I like that idea.

Understanding Our Flaws

How appropriate since I'm writing yesterday's devotion and reading yesterday's scripture readings at 6:46 in the morning.  It just means it's Friday and a ponytail and jeans day...I thank God for that.  Jeremiah 17:10 the verse following what was listed today says "I, the Lord, alone probe the mind and test the heart."   It's true, the Lord God is in control of our lives especially when we talk to Him and open up.  So this is my flaw....not being on time with this blog, as I set out to do this Lenten season.

I had a conversation with a friend who is in her 40s and having her first child (she got married a little later than normal and it was her first marriage).  Just wanted to check on this sweet woman to see how things were going, I can't wait to see this baby!  Any way she mentioned whether or not we were preparing for our own, as everyone seems to do these days and I happily exclaimed, that we are, in our own way of course and then very clearly she reminded me (as if I needed reminding)  "Well girl, God's time is not always our time."  True words, and I am proof that this is true.  I've seen it happen in my own life with jobs, boyfriends, Carey, this house...the list is endless.   The end result has always been what is best for me and God knows what that is.  I just keep trusting in him.  Just as I know he'll take care of all my pregnant friends and give them safe pregnancies and easy smooth deliveries. That is only one of the many things on my prayer list.  I pray for the conversion of a few hearts (many hearts really) and the continued health and wealth of my family and friends.  I have to add that Danielle and Doni find a house soon, I know Doni is stressed with the new baby and a new mortgage to come, but I know they'll be fine.  Danielle and I have had numerous conversations about "things just working out" because we both know the Lord protects and cares for us.  Jeremiah 17:7 Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose hope is the Lord.  That Jeremiah was one smart cookie, don't you think?

When you open my Bible to the first book of Psalms (first reading for today) and it's covered in stars and text is underlined, I have to be honest in saying that I can't remember the last time I did this, but.  There are little markings to the verses that really touch me.  I do know that I made these marks a long time ago.  Psalm 1:1-4 "Happy those who do not follow the counsel of the wicked, Nor go the way of sinners, nor sit in the company with scoffers.  Rather, the law of the Lord is their joy; God's law they study day and night,. They are like a tree planted near streams of water, the yields its fruit in season; It leaves never wither; whatever they do prospers. But not the wicked, they are like chaff driven by the wind."  IDK what chaff is, gonna look that one up - now.  It's the protected covering of the seeds.  duh.  ha.

The gospel today was the story of Lazarus and the rich man, one I think most Christians know well.  It's the simplest idea really, if we don't do our best and our Godly works here on earth, do we really think we'll get the same in return from others and from God in the afterlife?

I had lunch with a friend yesterday and he mentioned something similar in saying that what makes us think that if we don't do God's will here on earth, God will be generous when we're before him in heaven.  We've got to think of that when we act...we have to think before we act always.  It's just so easy to be negative and bad isn't it?

It's why I thank God every morning for all the many blessings and ask for help to get through the day as well as be diligent in my work.  I can't do it without you Lord, I say.  The good news is even when I don't say it to him, he hears me, b/c he knows my heart.  I just have to hope and trust that my wishes are His wishes for me, but then again, do the birds worry that they will be fed?  NOPE.

Sinners can be Winners

I'm going to start typing before I even title this one...maybe I'm distracted.  ok so I did it.  Sinners can be winners.  Corny I know, but the devotion touched on the idea that even though we sometimes think we can't do things b/c of our sinful ways, because people may call us hypocrites, it reminded me that Christ chose sinners.  God wants work through us regardless of what we've done.

This is just another reminder that we need not be silent about our faith...open up to everyone and anyone b/c we can really do all things through Christ...he strengthened us.

Son of a Preacher Man....

The theme today is Practice what you Preach and I was trying to think of song with Preacher, but that one and Papa Don't Preach were the only two I couldn't think of and neither are appropriate, but I'm lacking in creativity tonight.  In fact it's almost 11pm and I'm yet to read today's readings or "devote" to anything except the Bachelor, the Biggest Loser and Ellen.  Sad life I lead I know.  But let me explain: I left work late, went to the shooting range with the Wallers and my cutie patootie husband, then I stopped by Seth and Kim's house b/c she made a salad (i gave her the ingredients - lettuce, goat cheese, almonds and strawberries with a raspberry vinergrette YUMMY)  so I went grab some grub and then came home got on the treadmill while I watched TV.  Now it's time for bed and I've yet to "see" my husband.

Now on to the real stuff, or a brief version...I have to get better about my time, don't I?

Preaching what we Practice - if we are talking about me that would make for a great reality tv show wouldn't you think?  Oh the drama.  At least I think I'm a bit dramatic, loud, obnoxious...flirty and talkative.

Matthew 23:3 says "they preach but they do not practice."  Practice makes perfect doesn't it.   Makes me really think about the strength of my faith.  I'm definitely not ashamed to say I know Christ and it does hurt me to think that some people do not know him.  That is actually scary.  I just hate that for them.  It would be negative and non compassionate if I didn't feel something for them.   Remind me to read 1 Peter 3:15.  I'm not even devoted to this tonight...I have to watch SMASH.  Another one of my addictions.  I think, well I continue to think, that I'm going to give up TV one year for Lent, I know I keep saying...all talk that's what that is.

I'll have to finish this in the morning...i'm too distracted.   Guess I'm not practicing what I preach huh?  He died for me and I can't even devote a few minutes....I'll do it now.  I just guilted myself into it.
This devotion instructed me to extend the invitation, say something...step outside self doubt and let the Holy Spirit work through you.  So is it the same to practice what you preach  and  preach what you practice?  That a devotion for an entirely different day, but it's definitely something to ponder.

Into our Laps

Abundantly it is poured into our lap.  It can be anything, you know how things happen in threes?  Well that is abundance.  Today was a rough day.  It was busy and rushed and I didn't have much time to sit and ponder anything...the day, tomorrow, my work, nada.  I wish I would have taken a small break today to ask the Lord for a bit of a push, a little guidance to ease the stresses of the day.  I didn't "give" any of my time to Him.  I didn't "give" him the opportunity to take the struggle (a small one no doubt) away from me.  I didn't get home and settled until almost 8:30 tonight and to give up playing on my phone took effort.  I didn't want to give this time to devotion and reading my bible even though I know the read the readings and gospel for today would only take a minute.  I just didn't want to do it.  It's 10pm and I have to take a bath.  Where has the day gone?  It is in giving that we receive so it's my hope that in giving of this time, even though some times rushed, I will see the fruits of the labor and maybe, just maybe someone will be touched by my words as I spread God's word to the masses (or whomever will read/listen).  

Luke 6:39 " Give and gifts will be given to you, a good measure, packed together shaken down and overflowing, will be poured into your lap.  For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you.  

Growing up we didn't have a lot of money.  We had a lot of nice things, don't get me wrong, but I did without a good bit and I worked from the age of 13 on to present day.  One thing my Mom always taught me about giving our offering on Sunday was that as long as we gave, we'd never do without.  I'm honored to say that Carey and I give more than I thought possible, and in all honesty I think we can give more.  It's true, as we continue to give what we can, we seem to move forward in life with more.  God always provides for us and continues to drop good things "into our laps"  sometime I do wonder why and wonder what have we done to make the Lord so proud of us, but think I just think, we're his children....he is a Father that likes to spoil the children that love Him.  As we continue to "give" we will also continue to receive: His blessings, His grace, His mercy and the joy that will come in the morning that he also gives us! 

AMEN.

I wonder who can be against me?

Just as Peter, James and John wondered what "rising from the dead" meant, in Matthew 9:2-10, I wonder if I'm making the right decisions, if I'm doing the right things as a Christian in my daily life.  Sundays (and on a rare occasion Saturdays) I devote 1 measly hour for my Lord.  What am I doing the 167 or so hours during the rest of the week to show that I heard the word on Sunday, that I received the graces from the Eucharist and the wine?  I'm I doing the right things to get to heaven?  I am curious to know what the return home for Peter, James and John was like...what thoughts about "rising from the dead" were going through their minds.  I know how things that can get blown out of proportion, but I am interesting in knowing if they just trusted Jesus.  I am not a Bible scholar by any means, heck I feel guilty for saying that I only devote a few minutes a day to reading scripture and then it's usually during Lent only.  Maybe this year will be the year that I read the most eye opening and sometimes draw dropping book ever written.  Some stories read like a day time soap opera...and there is so much promise for our future in it, it's a shame that we all don't read it enough...me definitely included in that WE. It would be constant and daily confirmation that good things are in store for us if we listen to God.

I know that I often times disappoint the Lord, heck, probably more times that not.  I know that I make "excuses" for the things I've done, but I have to open up and ask or explain, only to God, what I'm doing it for.  It's not important to have anyone see me do things, God knows why I do them...I do them for God.  Some one told me the other day, when discussing our Lenten observance of not eating meat on Friday, that the fact that they ate meat on Friday wasn't going to keep them from getting into heaven.  True, point heard.  It got me to thinking about why I fast on Fridays.  Do I do it to "get into heaven?"  No of course night.  For me it's just another opportunity to "suffer" (a tiny bit) for the Lord.  We've become so spoiled today especially with technology and an abundance of things that give us instant gratification, but it's just s small way to show the Lord that I love Him.

I was thinking today, well not just today but in general while watching the Ellen show about how blessed I am.  People write in to her show, telling their stories, telling her how they are struggling to make ends meet or suffering different things.  I tried to think of what, if anything, I could write into Ellen about.  The only thing that came to mind was the idea that someone I know deserves something special.  Unfortunately most of the people I know deserve things of course but they are equally blessed to have so much.  So again I thank God for all that I have and all that I am. I watched a clip from the Ellen show today about a girl who could hear her children and husband snore for the first time and it was so touching.  Her mother-in-law cashed in her retirement or part of to buy some sort of implant to help her hear.  $30,000 per ear.  Well Ellen got the company to donate it to her and paid her Mom back...here it is.

I'm so grateful to be able to sit outside and type this blog on my laptop computer, sit out on my patio furniture with my dog and listen to loud trucks pass by (that I normally complain about), birds singin, leaves rustling and crickets chirping.  Thank you Lord that I can hear.  Thank you Lord that I am strong enough to think and type and be here in my beautiful home.  Thank you for allowing me to have a job so that I can afford these things and Yes, I pray for an even better one to come along one day that pays more, but for now I'm so grateful that I have so very much.

I am blessed...I am blessed, when I rise up in the morning, when I lay my head to rest. I hear you near me.  You soothe me when I'm weary, oh Lord, for all the worst and all the best - I oh I, I'm blessed.

Amen, Amen and AMEN.

One of the other readings today was "if God is for us then who can be against us?"  IF that can't get you through the day, well then I'm not sure what can...so if you're struggling, just remind yourself of Romans 8:31.   Chris Tomlin says it best -  (saw a video of behind the scenes stuff and his band guy is playing a cajon drum like Carey plays...if only Carey could/would play worship music at church, that would be a great idea.  ;)

Be perfect.

I know, I know. We can't be perfect.  Matthew 5:48   Be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.   
What does that mean? He knows that we can be perfect.  He knows that we are destined to sin...Adam and Eve laid that out for us.  The devotion got me thinking though, he commands us here to be perfect like our Heavenly Father, he wants us to repent and work towards perfection, growing closer to him each day we're here on Earth so that when we do reach the gates of heaven we don't have to wait very long.  We may not be perfect but we can strive for it each day.  God's mercy is there, it's available for us each and everyday so we have to start today working towards what God has commanded us.  Getting somewhere starts with a first step right?

Seems to be a recurrent theme, we sin, God forgives, we pray, God hears. How do we go about changing that statement?  What things do we need to do differently each day?  Perhaps that is a conversation we should have with our Lord?

In fact, I think I'll get ready for mass and go have one this evening.  Blessings...


Romans 3:22-25  "the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe...For there is no distinction; all have sinned and are deprived of the glory of God.  They are justified freely by his grace through the redemption in Christ Jesus, whom God set forth as an expiation, through faith, hi his blood to prove his righteousness because of the forgiveness of sins.


Romans 5:8  "But God proves his love for us in that while we were sinners, Christ died for us."

Morning Will Come...are you sure?

If the idea that morning will come makes you nervous...well you're not trusting in the Lord.  He knows we struggle, He walked this earth like we do.  He suffered like we do (even greater than us) so He knows what we are going through.  Our redeemer is there to make us new again.  He will provide the grace we need exactly when we need it.  He's that good and he's that good to us.  That's why he doesn't need the extra O (good, minus one o =)  God!  :) It's why He's called God and not just good!  hee hee

We cannot overcome sin alone.  It's true.  We have to stand strong and withstand temptation...yes it's easy to write that...it's easy to say, but when those things that tempt us look so good or make us "feel good" it's more than difficult to say no.  This is when we ask for assistance.  Trusting in our faith that the Lord hears our cries for help is so important.  When it comes to sin, it's a battle we are destined to fight.  We just have to ask ourselves if it's worth it and if it will bring about a new day?  Will it make tomorrow better?  Will I look back and say "wow I'm so glad that happened?"  Probably not.  Morning will come, but will welcome it with regret or will we welcome it with eyes on the prize of eternal life with Christ.  We shouldn't listen to the devil, duh.  He won't be there in the end to pick up the pieces,  he won't be there with open arms...that we know for sure.  We can't trust him.  He knows our weaknesses just as the Lord does, but unlike satan, our Lord is almighty and forgiving.  "Oh now I come to you, with open arms, nothing to hide, believe what I say.  So here I am, with open arms, hoping you'll see what you're love means to me, open arms."

Whatever it's Journey - I know.  but it's what I thought of when I said open arms.  Although the other verses aren't necessarily appropriate for this topic, the bridge or chorus or whatever it's called fit just fine.    He wants our love too!

Everyone who asks....receives.

It may be a simple one, but I asked for something and I got it.  In fact, looking back, it's happened a number of times.  When I asked and didn't receive the outcome of the situation was far greater than I could haven imagined, but the truth is that God knew.  I tell my "kids" often that they should be specific when they pray.  Why not?  God already knows what's on our hearts so we may as well verbalize it right?  

Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.

Enough said right? The verses go on to say that God protects us, we should not be worried about things, but repent when we sin and turn back to him.  His right hand is there, guiding us, guarding us....giving us unconditional love and support.  

Some really good news may come tomorrow...it will be proof that God loves us.  Tonight we'll just be thankful, as usual! 

Healing a Broken Spirit..

I'm broken, or well my spirit is broken, simply because I didn't take time yesterday to relax and spend time with the Lord.  That is not to say that I didn't talk to the Lord at all yesterday b/c trust me I did, it's just I didn't do my devotion time as I had promised myself I would each day.  I said I'd wake up early and that didn't happen either.  I did wake up earlier than normal, but not early enough to really spend time with the scripture.

Ironically the scripture and devotion talks about our broken spirits and how God wants to take those from us to give us new, clean ones.  Here I am feeling guilty for not taking that time with the Lord yesterday, but I knew at 11 o'clock that I wouldn't focus and be still in the word, much like I'm rushing now b/c I have to go to work.  I don't even have to read the verses from yesterday b/c I heard them on my way to work.  I heard "create in me, a clean heart oh Lord, in your wisdom keep me safe"  he doesn't want us to give him a "burnt offering" he wants our spirit so he can cleanse it.

Just another promise from Him.  How many will He have to give us for us to really believe Him?

Our Father, Who art in Heaven...

hallowed be Thy name.  Thy kingdom come, They will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.  - Matthew 6:9-13.


I didn't realize what  little amount of time I have in the evenings.  If I work out/run, shower and cook/eat it is three hours in and of itself.  If I leave work on time, which is not the norm, then I'm home for about 5:30 and before you know it, it's 9:00 and I'd like to pretend I'm in bed for 10pm, but that's an unlikely story.  What time is left for Carey?  What time is left for the Lord?

Today was a rough day, thankfully the devotion is easy..."Getting What You Need" - God already knows what is in our hearts, we ask for it so the He knows we want His help and guidance.  We give Him permission to come into our hearts and give us what we need.  It's great that the "Our Father" is part of the scriptures for today.  It's for those times when we don't want to or don't know what to, pray for.  He gives us the prayer right there.  So when in doubt?  The "Our Father' is the winner.   I usually start my prayers off with that anyway...it tends to get me going, get me in the mindset of prayerful and quite time with the Lord.

Matthew 6:8 "Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him."  I know I've mentioned before but it truly bothers me that the words He and Him when referring to God or Jesus are not capitalized...I mean don't we owe him respect in those instances when we speak or write of Him?  I do.  But getting back to that passage, just like when we sin, He already knows, He wants to hear it from our mouths, it's His way of being nearer to us.  He wants us to invite Him into our hearts, just as invites us in.

Meredith Andrews says it best...."You invite me in...doesn't matter where we've been, You arms are open wide, there is nothing left to hide."

We get what we need during the Lenten journey by inviting our Lord into our hearts everyday. Meredith speaks so beautifully about our Lord and what He wants from us and just loves us.  She's so amazing.  Enjoy her beautiful voice as well.

It brings us back to the scripture and the Lord knowing what we need just as much as He knows who we are.  We belong to Him and he loves us and is there for us not matter what.

Keurig....? As in a coffee maker?

Yes that is correct and no we didn't buy it, it was a gift. I am now in love with my husband, my dog AND my coffee maker.  I've given up soft drinks for Lent only to be tempted daily with a freshly brewed cup of coffee.  I mean seriously...can I be more spoiled?  Carey and I have had more coffee in the last 72 hours than two normal human beings should.  I may not be able to sleep tonight, b/c we're having a cup (or 3) right now.  It's SUPER YUMMY.  To make matters worse, I'm watching the Bachelor, I just can't stop, it's like a train wreck, you want to see it, but you don't want to see it.  I'm seriously addicted to it and the fact that we can now fast forward through the commercials.  AMEN< Hallelu-YER.

I am so lucky.  I type on my lap top, watch the show on our 32" (I think) flat screen TV, my gorgeous dog beside me...my husband letting me do my thing.  I worked out, I feel good...I have a great job to go to tomorrow.  I'm just so very blessed. I just wish sometimes that I could just do away with the material things.  Maybe next year I'll give up TV and shopping unnecessarily. I'll spend the time reading and enjoying time with my husband.  The catch to this is that Carey and I watch a lot, well a good bit, of TV together, so will he agree to No TV, or will I watch TV only with him....maybe I can start with that and work my way up to No TV at all.    I know I can do anything that I put my mind to.  

I'm not sure this video is going to work.  Hopefully you can enjoy my sweet boy.  I love him to pieces.  Just like I love my husband to pieces...who at this moment would say "I love you as a whole."  Well that too...

Separating the Goats from Sheep

He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on His left. - Matthew 25:33 

Well knowing what I think most Christians know being at "His right hand" or at the "right hand of the Father"  is important...in this case I want to be a sheep!  BAAAA, baaaaa.   This is the reading when the Lord tells us that anytime we did anything for the least of his people we did it for Him.  How many people did we smile at today?  Did we open the door for anyone?  Buy lunch?  Assist someone at work when it wasn't our duty or job?  The little things that we can do daily mean so much in the end.

Today we are to pray for humility and docility.  We need to be the calm and responsible sheep, not the stubborn, inattentive and disobedient goats.

The readings for today are one of my favorites.  Psalm 19:8-15   As I read it, I sing it...I remember the song well:
       The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul, the decree of the Lord is trustworthy, giving wisdom to the simple.  (This is profound right now....we "give up" those things that can sometimes complicate our life so much that we miss the moments that God is speaking to us and guiding us.) The precepts are the Lord are right rejoicing the heart, The command of the Lord is clear enlightening the eye.  The fear of the Lord is pure; (I love when psalmists/writers in the Bible use the word fear, its a reminder...the Lord don't play around.  He tells us over and over again, do what's right and the kingdom is ours, but disobey and "you're going down!"  We know better.  This is why it's so important during these 40 days to get back down to the nitty gritty and straighten ourselves out.) enduring forever (not next month, or year, but FOREVER).  The statutes of the Lord are true, all of them just: More desirable than gold (and you know we like gold), then a hoard of purest gold, Sweeter also than honey or drippings from the comb. By them your servant is instructed, obeying them brings much reward.  Who can detect heedless failings?  Cleanse me from my unknown faults. (Cleanse me from my unknown faults, just shows us that the writer was sinful and wanted to make sure all the bases were covered. I'd like to add 'give me the graces to admit aloud the ones for which I am aware but too ashamed to admit.) But from willful sins keep your servant; let them never control me.  Then shall I be blameless, innocent of grave sin.  Let the words of my mouth meet with your favor, keep the thoughts of my heart before you,(again he/she asks for help in advance to stay away from sin.)  Lord, my rock and my redeemer.  


I just love these verses...I mean can I say it any louder? WOW, it's just wonderful words.  It just covers all the bases here. Makes me want to read it over and over again.

I have to mention how hard it was to not have a coke today...I did have coffee instead...it's just not the same.  For every sip of water, which I knew was good for me...I wanted a 140 calorie coke. How many days of Lent are left?  HA HA.

"It's a cold day" - has two meanings.

I say it has two meanings, I haven't been outside yet today, so I'm assuming that it's cold outside. God said to rest and I woke up with a cold so that is what I am doing today...I rest.  I've taken medicine and I'm feeling better.  I'll go to mass tonight at 6pm.  My head is pounding, my nose is running and I just feel gross. No run for me tonight which makes me sad, but I did have Pizza for lunch and that makes me happy.  I missed Reese Riley's 1st birthday party....booo.  Don't want to spread my germs so I'm staying home and resting today...since it's it the day of rest.

1 Peter 3:21 "(Baptism) which saves you now.  It is not a removal of dirt from the body but an appeal to God for a clear conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ,..."

I missed this devotional time yesterday...I think I was too busy devoting to my 'sickness."  I did go to mass last night, I stopped by Jason and Michele's for a bit to bring the boys something and then had dinner at a new restaurant around the corner.  I'm actually going to eat the leftovers tonight!  YUMMY!

But back to discussing what I think God was trying to tell us about appealing to God for a clear conscience, through the resurrection.  Puts perspective on the reason for the season of Lent. We get 40 days to do just that, appeal to the Lord for a cleansing so that we can be closer to Him and strengthen our relationship.  We should spend these days pleading to our Lord to set us free from the sins that keep us from Him.  We need to let the guilt of sin make us more aware of our wrong doings, we need to acknowledge daily the way we hurt the God who still remains faithful to us, regardless of what we do to Him.  The fact that we do some of those same "sins" over and over again, is painful in itself. How would we feel if that role was reversed?  The pain is unimaginable.  Yet the Lord bore even more on the cross so we would never have to feel that sort of pain.

Preparing for a day of rest...

Preparing for a day of rest almost sounds like an oxymoron doesn't it.  I don't know, it's what today's devotion and readings were about.  

I have to go back to yesterday's verse - "For I know my offense; my sin is always before me.  Psalm 51:5  That one is a big one.  It's not enough to carry our sin around with us and contemplate the heaviness that it brings to our life, but then we have to read about it and be reminded that every day that we don't confess it to the Lord, it brings us farther away from him.  I don't like to admit my faults, to admit that I'm wrong.  I already know and am reminded constantly that I'm not any where close to perfect, but it still hurts to admit that I'm weak and small.  Thankfully the Lord forgave me a long time ago.  I find comfort in knowing that He always takes me back. As a human being I sometimes wonder if we take advantage of our Lord.  Are we tempted to sin b/c we know He will forgive us?  or is that what it really is to be human? To be aware of our mistakes?  I guess we'll keep asking ourselves these questions.  When we sin, we need to be specific about it, when we ask to be forgiven.  Just as I've always thought that we should be specific in our prayer as well.  God knows our heart and our sin, but it always helps to be specific when we ask for things.

The run went well today, we did a partner PR today:  6.2 miles in 1:04:19, Trey beat me b/c he sprinted to the end....his legs are longer.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  He's nervous about the race next week.  I'm debating about whether or not I want to go next weekend and run the Rock n Roll.  I mentally am not ready, but I want to, I need to...be there for Trey.  I know he can do it.  He's  run far better than I had before my first half marathon.  He's going to great.  My fear at this point is not that he won't finish or I won't finish, but my fear is that I'll hold him back instead of pushing him.  At least I have 7 days to think about it.... I think I can, I think I can.  

Now, I know I seem very scattered today, but today's devotion is about spiritual medicine.  It's the most important kind of medicine, in my opinion.  I will forever live knowing that Sunday Mass is the medicine that I need weekly, to help me realize what I was blessed with the week before and to ask for those things I mentioned above as well as to get me through the week to come. I know I can't do it alone, that I need God, I need that spiritual medicine which is Sundays, prayer and Mass.  It's why I guess Chad Kling calls me the church nazi.  I'm not missing Sunday Mass. 

Isaiah 58 is where God reminds us that the Sabbath is a delight and that we need the day off.  That Lord is good isn't He?  

TGIF and...

Unfortunately this is going to be short. . .it's 10:29 and I have the Amedisys Mardi Gras Mambo 10K in the morning.  I'm going to pick up Trey (KC's hubby and my running buddy) and hope that we kick some butt tomorrow!  Should be a good run, except that it's going to be unusually cold tomorrow.  Which if I really think about it, won't be bad b/c when I ran the 1/2 Marathon it was about 45 degrees,  felt good when I was done.

Today's readings are Isaiah 58:1-9
I will have to blog two days worth tomorrow.  I'm completely unfocused and it would be missing the point it I continued without putting forth the right effort and level of devotion.

I did find myself wanting a soft drink today, very much so.  I've failed miserably on the shopping part.  NO fb and there is so much going on that I want to know about.  Ms. Janet Capone was in an accident on Tuesday and has been in critical condition.  It's not looking good, all we can do is pray for her and the family.  If she survives, doctors say she'll have severe brain damage.   It's so sad.

Day 2 - I want a coke!

"To cleave or not to cleave, that is the question!"  I'm sure I've heard that word before, cleave.  If I have I don't remember it.  It's used in some translations for the verse in Deuteronomy 30:15-20.  "Choose life, then, that you and your descendants may live, by loving the Lord, your God, heeding his voice, and holding fast to him.  For that will mean life for you..."  so in some versions instead of holding fast to Him, it says cleave to him.  To cleave means to cling, to stick to, to be united with a strong affection.

How many things in our life to we really cleave to.  Yes, our family is important to us, but when we are with our family, do we "hold on" to the time and make it meaningful every single time?  Do we do the same with and for our Lord?  Probably not.  I know I don't. . . and I know I should.  Psalm 1:6  "The Lord watches over the way of the just..."  again he guarantees that if we do what is right and do His will, he will watch over us...what more do we need than that b/c that my friends is shear perfection.  If only we could actually grasp that concept.  Today is not just about choosing life, it's about choose to live the life that God has created and planned so perfectly for us.  Can we live up to the test?  The next 40 days or so will tell us.  But it really needs to go beyond that.  We take up our cross daily (Luke 9:22-25) but we are focused during Lent. What do I need to do after Lent to stay equally as focused?

So I called into "The Catholic Guy" talk show on Sirius XM Satelite radio Channel 129 (plug, ha).  Leno and Fr. Rob are playing a game call "Let's Make a Catholic Deal" and they asked the question "What are the three pillars of Lent?"  At first i was thinking, "Oh my God, I don't know the answer. I'm a good Catholic I have to know this."  And as the guy on the phone continue to make incorrect guesses it came to me.  What are the most important things we "do" during Lent?   Those are the pillars:  fasting, prayer and alms giving.  Well I know I'm fasting, I know I'll be praying, but what sort of alms am I giving?  This Lenten season I want to make an extra effort to give...I think my plan is to go and feed the homeless at the shelter.  I think that would be a  humbling experience.  I've done it before, but I'm anxious to do it again.

I want the game that day...I won a book and although the name of the book has slipped my mind, I know it's written by "The Bible Geek" and so I'm thrilled to know that it's headed this way.  Maybe  it'll be in the mail tomorrow.  How exciting is that?

Ash Wednesday - "You're Invited"

"Yet even now, " says the Lord, "return to me with your whole heart..."  Joel 2:12   so this is the verse that leads us in...only if you keep reading in the book of Joel you'll find one of my favorite verses "return to the Lord, your God.  For gracious and merciful is He, slow to anger, rich in kindness, and relenting in punishment.  (verse 13)

The Lenten season is just a wonderful reminder that we are invited into God's kingdom, no matter how long we've been gone, no matter how far away we've been or what we've done while we were gone.  The idea of that is so grand sometimes our minds just can't comprehend it.  I keep laughing b/c as I read the verses that were chosen today, I found "Create in Me" lyrics/verses.  And then opened 2 Corinthians 5:20 - 6:2, I just heard a song on the radio today from this exact verse " He became sin, who knew no sin, so we might become His righteousness."    God hears us and "on the day of our salvation, helps us."  

Why is it that we can't place 100% of our trust in Him?  Why does it take the season rolling around each year for us to be devoted and more prayerful, to come back to Him.  He calls us everyday.

At Mass tonight we read from Matthew and afterwards Father Phil made a joke about how we should not perform good deeds so that others might see them, but then we put a big mark on our foreheads so that people know we've been to Mass.  HA  And here I am putting my devotions out there for everyone to read...it's helpful, to be reminded.  We aren't perfect so why not just work at being the best we can at doing His will.  At the end of the day the guarantee is the same, we can come back and start a new with our God b/c His arms are wide open.  If at first we don't succeed, try try again.

AMEN.   Day 1: no soft drinks, no facebook, no cursing and no shopping....3 out of 4 ain't bad.  I bought a new watch today b/c I dropped mine yesterday and it broke. I'm not just giving up, I've also decided to "get down" to the basics of devotion and learning and using the "free" time to spend with those people and doing the things that are most important.

This is the best time of the year!

I'm not going to the Mardi Gras. (Sing it...)

It's the first year in 8 years that I'm not off for Mardi Gras.  I almost don't know what to do with myself.  I mean who doesn't give their employees off on Mardi Gras?  Doesn't really matter if you get technical about it b/c Carey has to work, so I wouldn't be hanging out with him anyway.

I will be giving up the usual: Soft drinks, Facebook and I'm trying to decide on shopping...I mean I'm losing weight and need new clothes that fit...so we'll see.  I will be praying more, finish the Bible Study I started on the life of St. Paul and blogging daily according to the scriptures and the devotional that was sent by Most Blessed Sacrament Church.  I did it last year and it was amazing, the experience was wonderful.

Stay tuned for getting close to the Lord this Lenten season.  May even end up a bit skinnier too!

What is wrong with me?

That would be a rhetorical question of course.   funny I know: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4q4X99LkW8&feature=related  that I'm not alone.  I just feel so bla.  So  much to do however I still cannot get motivated to get off my rear end.

Babysat last night for Brynlee Aicklen...so much fun.  Time to hit the treadmill.  It's long over due.  Get up Gwen...just get up, once foot in front of the other is how it starts.

"Hey Jealousy"

I can't think off hand who it is that sings that song, but I was just thinking about being jealous.  I heard on the Catholic Channel (sattelite ratdio) once that being jealous is not sinul, it's being envious that is a sin.  That being said, I am jealous.  The more I think about that the more I realize that I'm not sure if having all the things that I'm "jealous" about would make me less jealous or would I really keep wanting more, wanting bigger, wanted better.  What I do know is that I'm spoiled already and that I will never be satisifed.  I will always want for more.  I have to just ask the Lord to forgive me, to guide me and to watch over me.  I have to keep praying for all my friends and what they need and pray for those people who don't know how, who don't have anyone to pray for them and for those who don't know the Lord. 

I am going on my, I dont' know, 15th, Confirmation Retreat but my frist with Most Blessed Sacrament church parish.  It has been an interesting and different experience as I haven't been able to get to know some of the children, like I usually do.  It's a bit upsetting. 

I am having brunch at Beausoleil on Sunday thought and that I'm looking forward to.  It's 11pm, I need to get to bed.  Carey is already asleep, I should be too, he has to work and I have to be at church for 7:30 am.  I need a bath and to finish packing.  So much to do, so little time.

I noticed on my pay check today that I have almost a week of vacation built up.  I'm trying to decide if I want to save a bit more for a vacation (a couple days at least) or if I want to save it up for a baby. It's a big decision.  I don't want to be caught off guard with a pregnancy, but I have a feeling if Carey and I "plan" any sort of parenting, then it may be a while.  It's fine by us, but I just don't know.  People ask me all the time if and when and I'm so ugly and negative about it.  I never thought I'd be "procrastinating" for lack of a better word, about having a child.  I know that is why I was meant for married life, so that I could have and raise a family.  My heart is just not in it right now.   I want to finish paying off my student loans and then put that money into my babies college fund.  I want to travel a bit more, there are so many places that I've never been and want to go and if I wait until my kids are grown, well heck, I may not be able to travel by then. 

I'll be 34 in 8 months.  I can pretty much guarantee I won't be having a baby before then.  So I'll be 35 at the youngest when I have my first child.  If they are two years apart I'll be 37 with the second and I know my husband will not want or go for or participate in having a 3rd.  I can guarantee that.  I mean I'm just getting him to start talking about one. 

My OB/GYN or my GYN I should say, is no longer delivering babies and when I called her office to protest, the RN was so excited to read in my chart that it was "ok to have a baby."  She was thrilled and asked with excitement "are y'all trying?"  "Um, trying to what?" I wanted to say, but I figured that would be a bit ugly.  Mom gets so mad at me for thinking "selfishly" about having a baby, but I don't think it's selfish. I want to enjoy the things that I never got to enjoy growing up and I want to be able to give my family those same things.  It may seem like I had everything I wanted growing up and I guess you can say I didn't go "with out" but there were many time and many instances that my Mom had to say No and it was because we couldn't afford it.  I could't take dancing, I couldn't go on school trips (to DC etc).  I didn't have a car.  I didn't go on vacations.  We went to Disney when I was 2 and then drove to Atlanta to see family when I was a Sr.  That was the extent of my vacations.  I wouldn't have gotten a college education had I not had student loans, which I'm thrilled to say will be paid off in about 5 years with the way we're paying them.  Guess we need to double up.   Heck if we start paying $50 more a month we can pay them off 2 years earlier...and I owe my Mom about $2000, I need to be done with that.

I guess when I get to "that" point, Carey and I will have a baby.  That thought excites me a bit.  I love babies.  I also love my time, my runs, my vacations - mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.

That does make me sound pretty selfish doesn't it?  Shauntel, Danielle, Jenny (Riley), Fay, Dana and Suzanna are all pregnant right now.  See who needs to  have a baby when they are all having them?

Good night.

I'm back.  So I opened my blog, I wanted to see something and "A Mother's Prayer" by Celine Dion was playing.  Is the Lord trying to tell me something?  Hmmmm.  Made me smile; for whatever reason.