Washing your Mouth out with Soap

I don't know if she did or at least I can't recall, my mom ever saying that she would wash out my mouth with soap.  I grew up in a house hold where we didn't say things like "shut up" much less have any other now super common four letter expletives come out of our mouths.  I honestly can't remember when I said my first curse word (probably from hanging out with Ashley, Danielle, Michelle Q and Corie).  Just picking on you ladies.  I do remember the first time my mom used the B word in front of me, it was over a parking space mind you.  I hate that I will actually say them (sometimes) in front on my mother, because the Lord knows I would have never said it in front of my Grandmother.  So what makes it so easy these days?  They are used on the radio and TV a thousand times more than they were when I was growing up.  The f word more than any other bothers me and it seems when I need emphasis, I use it.  I am a sinner, yes I am.  I curse, and more often when behind the wheel of a car, but I am doing my very best at trying to go back to the way things were.  The words, the four letter ones, are so UGLY (ha, four letter word).  I bring this up because at my volleyball game tonight I made a really terrible attempt to set the ball and subsequent movements left me on my rear end, in the sand.  The referee, who knows me well after 3 or 4 years of playing volleyball says "Gwen, language please" or something of that nature and I said was "WOW, now I can't say butt?"   Clearly that was not the word she was referring too, however I have become so at ease with saying the S-word I had not even realized I had said it.  And said it loudly, no doubt.

The more I got to thinking about it, the more I'm ok with myself being the loud, smack talker that I am when I play volleyball (because I'm that good) but I am not ok with how much I curse.  So I make a vow today, to speak words that are pleasing to the Lord and well pleasing to the other people who have to (and some don't) listen to me.

I guess I need to pretend that Grandmother Vivian is still around and with me, listening to every word.  So thanks to Kristin Braun for helping keep me in line...at least on the volleyball court.  Now if I can just get her to ride around town with me, I'd be well on my way to a cleaner mouth.

I'm ashamed.  I really am.