These are days, we Remember

A few days ago, my mom called me.  It was late afternoon and I was at work.  It was one of two things and since she had texted us a few days earlier to say that she was retiring, I was more sure it was something "not good" than I was that it was exciting, ground breaking news.

Dad has to go on dialysis. :(  Well that's not good.  I cried.  I cried at work.  That is one thing I'm not ashamed to do, cry at work I mean.  Then I got pissed, "it's not his fault" Mom said. "Yes it is," I replied.  "It is his fault, for not taking care of himself all of those years I asked him to."  Every since high school (almost 20 years now) I've asked him to stop smoking, to eat better, to exercise...all things that had he started 20 years ago, may have had some effect on how his health is today.

Every time Mom calls at a strange time I get nervous.  His health is fair and I'm honestly more concerned that Dad dies before Maw Maw does and then Mom will have to send Maw Maw into a nursing home. :(  That saddens me oh so much.  I want Mom to be able to enjoy her retirement and now she'll spend 3 - 4 days a week, 3 -4 hours a day perhaps taking care of daddy and the rest, taking care of her mother-in-law.  I would do that same for mine so I understand very much her wanting to take care of Maw Maw as much as and as best she can for as long as she can.  It just hurts me that she can't enjoy her life and be a little selfish with her time...time for herself.  That's the kind of woman she is and wife.  I hope I can be that good to Carey 35 years from now.

Dad will have a follow up appointment in a couple of months to determine the level/type of treatment he will need.  He's scared I think.  He's called twice over the last week and I haven't been able to talk to him very much.  I should call to check on him more often...I need to be better about that because I'll want to remember these stories/times we've shared when he's gone. We just don't know how long we have.

If we don't have plans on Sunday or Saturday evening, I may ask Carey to ride with me to Donaldsonville to see and spend time with Daddy...I'll see if Aidan and Alec want to come too - we can bring water baloons.  :)  They all (Claire, Aidan and Alec) love them.

My dad is the best...uniquely special...i.e. the best.  ;)

'til tomorrow.