The last several months have been a complete surprise, a whirlwind of change and emotions. I've come to look forward to meeting with my therapist. Yes, my therapist. I was "assigned" one through our EAP program at Community Coffee. I said "our" as if I still work there. Old habits die hard, but it's not like I was in the habit for very long. One year and 3 months of service. Had my husband not forced me or directed me to quit I would have had a breakdown for sure. The last few weeks had gotten so out of control, spiralling in a way that I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop my mind from thinking about the huge "to do" list that lay ahead of me. I couldn't take the time or find time to sit down with my supervisor and say "I can't do all of this." What is most important? I know now, when and how that needs to be done if the situation arises. I realize now where my boundaries are and need to be so that this does not happen again. There were a multitude of other variables that lead to the final decision to leave. It wasn't something that came lightly. In fact, it was so heavy it was almost immediate. I know I am missed...I missed a lot of people there too. This time was needed. I needed to refocus my faith and my time with my family. I needed to rethink the true importance of life. Filling the void of time during "unemployment" is difficult. Finding a job is SO time consuming. I'm so thankful that he has blessed me with a strong work ethic, a hard working spirit, a friendly and helpful team member mentality and a brain - I really feel like I bring a whealth of different characteristics to an employer. I hope that my most recent interviewer realizes that.
I KNOW God has this all worked out for me. I"ve been reading my bible and the devotions and learning/being reminded that HIS plan is perfect and I have to trust in him. Somtimes I have to just be still "and know that he is with me." "...know that I am your God" he tells us. "Do not worry about tomorrow.."
Continuously guarded by God. His Peace transcends ALL understanding. I read somewhere that there are 365 mentions of trust in the bible. 365? Do we think that is by mear chance and coincidence? I think not. I need to pull out each and everyone of them and create my own devotional for people like me, people in the same spot as I am. I have two friends in fact who experienced a lot of what I did and are going through it now. I am surprised how many people didn't realize what was going on.
It was also a reminder that you never really know what is going on in someones life. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes and bad decisions. There is always opportunity for growth. I think this recruiting opportunity is just what I need. I hope the Lord God thinks it's just for me too! There are several things surrounding the opportunity that need to get ironed out, so hopefully the timing will be just enough.
Well...God's timing is perfect. So nevermind on the just enough. :)
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